Tomorrow, June 7th, is the last day when one can register to vote in the EU Referendum. I know you're all pretty busy; we live in Cameron's Britain, where the cost of living is prohibitively high and working full time hours is literally not enough to survive on. When we get home, we all just want to relax for a bit; shoot some aliens, live in a village with some animals or catch up on our Pokédex before the release of Sun and Moon. You know who isn't playing videogames? Old people.
Racist, ignorant old farts have all the time in the world to register to vote then pootle along to the polling station and spend hours chatting to the woman at the desk and drawing one little cross in a square while I queue up behind them, even though I have work in like ten minutes. Do you really want this important decision about your future to be made by people who don't understand the facts and are going to be dead before the consequences can impact them? No you don't. So go and register!
Here are some games you can play even while making time to click here and register, which only takes five minutes. You could probably squeeze in one of these games around going to actually vote, or in the queue at the polling station. There is literally no excuse!
Overwatch is the big new multiplayer shooter which the people you follow on twitter won't shut up about. Colourful, fun characters from all over the world work together to win hectic multiplayer gunfights. Everyone can contribute to the effort; even if you feel like you won't make a difference, you really will! Whether you're a tank, a healer or an all-out offensive type, your effort can mean something. Everyone can come together as a unified team, whatever country they were born in. It's a brilliant vision of the future!
I know what you're thinking; when I get stuck into a multiplayer game like that, even though the rounds are short, I don't want to abandon my teammates after a game so I can go register to vote. Don't worry though, I've got some other games for you!
Street Fighter is a game where an uptight brunette and a floppy-haired blond idiot fight for the sake of fighting. They don't actually understand the reasons they're giving, they just want any old excuse to hurl things at eachother and come out on top.
Whether you're hopping online with Street Fighter V on your PS4 or booting up Super Street Fighter II on Virtual Console, a quick bout rarely lasts more than a couple of minutes. You can get some of the frustration out of your system by battering a fella, then register to vote and actually achieve something.
I know what you're thinking though, a competitive multiplayer game like Street Fighter, even without a team, can get you into an addictive loop that's hard to break out from, even for long enough to register to vote.
Luftrausers is a fun, quick little game in which one plays as a little airplane in a pseudo-WWII dogfight. Games don't last very long, even when you're good at the game, and leave you wanting a breather. In that time, you could register to vote.
Isn't it strange that in living memory, Europe went to total war? It's almost unthinkable now for that kind of conflict between nations to break out, particularly between England, France and Germany. I wonder what force for good brought such fundamental change to the face of Europe?
I know what you're thinking- these games have all been pretty competitive. I want to work together with people!
A game of Monster Hunter isn't over as quickly as some of these games, but hunts are limited to 45 minutes. After a nice game, while everybody takes a breather, you might be inspired to register to vote regardless of what side of the debate you're on. Maybe you'll enjoy your co-operative experience so much, you'll have a renewed sense of pride in the European Union. Or perhaps you'll find so much joy in killing something grand and carving it up to sell the pieces, you'll want to give David Cameron and his cronies even less oversight to do that to things like the Human Rights Act.
I'm sorry, has there been a subtle undertone to this piece that I think you should vote Remain? I apologise. Here's a game all you out voters might like to play:
Sort or 'Splode
Sort or 'Splode is a minigame from the Nintendo DS versions of Super Mario 64 or New Super Mario Bros. Both of those might be a little tricky to get hold of new right now, but presumably you're a rich business type with personal vested interests that make you want to leave the EU so I'm sure you can afford those ebay prices.
In Sort or 'Splode, different coloured bob-ombs enter the screen from the top and you divide them into their colours before they explode. I bet you love that, don't you, dividing people based on colour? Maybe you shouldn't register to vote.
All jokes aside though, you really should register to vote.
Whether you're left or wrong, it's so important to exercise your democratic rights, in this election and in ones that should actually have been presented to the public and weren't just issues the politicians were too cowardly to make decisions on.
Honestly, it takes 5 minutes.